EATEN BY ALIENS/TIBET TIPS THE SCALES
JANUARY 7, 2016 BY FEARLESSPUPPY
A short science fiction story. With many thanks to Douglas Adams and his incredible Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where the premise for this story was stolen from.
It’s business as usual and just another day on Earth, but in the great beyond a meeting of earth shattering importance is taking place. The Space Aliens’ Council of Constructive Destruction is deciding what part of the physical universe to dismantle. They need to disintegrate a lot of physical matter back into pure energy. That’s what these aliens eat, and their supplies are running low.
The discussion reaches two final candidates for a you-become-lunch location. Each of these vast areas of space has a single planet with life on it and—you guessed it—one of those planets is our Earth.
There are minimal differences between the two potential food sources. Both have plenty of tasty matter. The Council decides to make its culinary decision based upon the comparative merits of the two planets that have living inhabitants. The civilization judged most worthy of surviving will do so. We have become one of two final contestants in an extinction and digestibility contest!
The Spacefolk responsible for making the final decision look at the other planet’s citizens first, tally up the points, and then proceed to summarize us. Here is their report.
This is the recorded history of the Earthlings.
The dominant life form on the planet calls itself Mankind, although the majority of these creatures are women.
These beings have been consistently deluding themselves for thousands of years. They enjoy hiding behind a self-righteous façade. While ostensibly worshiping goodness, compassion, and love that rarely get exercised, the species actually perpetrates fear, greed, war, and selfishness in most planetary functions (although they often do a lot better at local levels.)
The themes of their prayers and most sacred thoughts seem to be peace, harmony, unity, equanimity, and demilitarization, but their many so-called civilized cultures have never accomplished these states. To the contrary, such sentiments seem to be window dressing and paperwork. They have for the most part been used hypocritically as propaganda. Profiteering warmongers ruthlessly hypnotize the youth of nearly every generation into protecting a lifestyle that is more fantasy than fact. A few greedy executives craving false power and transient possessions convince the naive general population that they will all be able to live in peace, harmony, and prosperity by killing a bunch of strangers just one more time. The rank and file seem perpetually duped. This species seems incapable of learning a lesson.
This planet’s immortal state of combat almost always results in no positive change for the majority. On the contrary, this majority often endures incredible pain, suffering, hardship, and devastation.
Mankind unwittingly fosters the continuance of all these trespasses by glorifying the increasing wealth and power of the greatest oppressors among them! (“Unwittingly” may actually be a more appropriate name for this species than “Mankind.”) The small minority of oppressors has time after time convinced mankind at large to scapegoat whom or whatever will provide a distraction from the robbery and brutalities that these very same oppressors are actually perpetrating.
Attitude malfunctions have taken hypnotic root within the general population and account for its almost bizarre, apparently unconscious willingness to participate in this self-destruction. The hypnotic rooting of systemic requirements and regulations into the general population is accomplished through widespread and varied communications and information systems collectively known as “The Media.” The very admirable ability of these systems to inform and unify is completely incongruent with the despicable functions they enable. The content of their messaging is almost always commercial, usually inane, and often mentally poisonous.
Perhaps the most accurate description of these Earthlings is found in their own catch all quasi-medical reference term “schizophrenia.” It defines a certain lack of ability to recognize the difference between subjective and objective reality. Earthlings use this label to demean and isolate select individuals. The irony is that the species as a unit has long embraced this same condition as a way of life.
The continuously combative and violent norm was (and still is) supported by the vast history of humankind until a segment of the population calling themselves “Tibetans” attained a semblance of sanity. Finally it happened. A group appeared who did enough mental work to make their walk match their talk. An isolated, peaceful, cooperative people developed the kind of culture that humans had, up to that point, given a great deal of lip service but no concrete attention. After having ranked among the most ferocious warriors on Earth for several centuries, the Tibetans decided that peace was more productive than war and compassion better than greed. At the height of their sanity, twenty percent of the Tibetan population was composed of Monks and Nuns—beings whose employment was to perpetuate positive states. Peace, joy, environmental respect, and natural beauty reigned for centuries.
Then other Earthlings invaded and killed the Tibetans for the purpose of stealing their land and natural resources. A few of the more sympathetic Earthlings made some valiant efforts to correct this, but most either ignored the holocaust or whined in graceless impotence.
That was the Council’s report.
Don’t make any long-term plans, folks. We’ll be taking a trip soon. Don’t bother packing. Where we are going, you won’t need what you think you own.
I hope that when the aliens eat our energy they will find us more palatable than we can possibly find ourselves at this point. On the other hand, they may find our energy toxic. If so, it might be a stroke of poetic justice and an ironically appropriate final act for us to poison superior beings—as we have more or less already done in Tibet.