A short science fiction story. With many thanks to Douglas Adams and his incredible Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where the premise for this story was stolen from.

It’s business as usual and just another day on Earth, but in the great beyond a meeting of earth shattering importance is taking place. The Space Aliens’ Council of Constructive Destruction is deciding what part of the physical universe to dismantle. They need to disintegrate a lot of physical matter back into pure energy. That’s what these aliens eat, and their supplies are running low.
The discussion reaches two final candidates for a you-become-lunch location. Each of these vast areas of space has a single planet with life on it and—you guessed it—one of those planets is our Earth.
There are minimal differences between the two potential food sources. Both have plenty of tasty matter. The Council decides to make its culinary decision based upon the comparative merits of the two planets that have living inhabitants. The civilization judged most worthy of surviving will do so. We have become one of two final contestants in an extinction and digestibility contest!
The Spacefolk responsible for making the final decision look at the other planet’s citizens first, tally up the points, and then proceed to summarize us. Here is their report.

This is the recorded history of the Earthlings.
The dominant life form on the planet calls itself Mankind, although the majority of these creatures are women.
These beings have been consistently deluding themselves for thousands of years. They enjoy hiding behind a self-righteous façade. While ostensibly worshiping goodness, compassion, and love that rarely get exercised, the species actually perpetrates fear, greed, war, and selfishness in most planetary functions (although they often do a lot better at local levels.)
The themes of their prayers and most sacred thoughts seem to be peace, harmony, unity, equanimity, and demilitarization, but their many so-called civilized cultures have never accomplished these states. To the contrary, such sentiments seem to be window dressing and paperwork. They have for the most part been used hypocritically as propaganda. Profiteering warmongers ruthlessly hypnotize the youth of nearly every generation into protecting a lifestyle that is more fantasy than fact. A few greedy executives craving false power and transient possessions convince the naive general population that they will all be able to live in peace, harmony, and prosperity by killing a bunch of strangers just one more time. The rank and file seem perpetually duped. This species seems incapable of learning a lesson.
This planet’s immortal state of combat almost always results in no positive change for the majority. On the contrary, this majority often endures incredible pain, suffering, hardship, and devastation.
Mankind unwittingly fosters the continuance of all these trespasses by glorifying the increasing wealth and power of the greatest oppressors among them! (“Unwittingly” may actually be a more appropriate name for this species than “Mankind.”) The small minority of oppressors has time after time convinced mankind at large to scapegoat whom or whatever will provide a distraction from the robbery and brutalities that these very same oppressors are actually perpetrating.
Attitude malfunctions have taken hypnotic root within the general population and account for its almost bizarre, apparently unconscious willingness to participate in this self-destruction. The hypnotic rooting of systemic requirements and regulations into the general population is accomplished through widespread and varied communications and information systems collectively known as “The Media.” The very admirable ability of these systems to inform and unify is completely incongruent with the despicable functions they enable. The content of their messaging is almost always commercial, usually inane, and often mentally poisonous.
Perhaps the most accurate description of these Earthlings is found in their own catch all quasi-medical reference term “schizophrenia.” It defines a certain lack of ability to recognize the difference between subjective and objective reality. Earthlings use this label to demean and isolate select individuals. The irony is that the species as a unit has long embraced this same condition as a way of life.
The continuously combative and violent norm was (and still is) supported by the vast history of humankind until a segment of the population calling themselves “Tibetans” attained a semblance of sanity. Finally it happened. A group appeared who did enough mental work to make their walk match their talk. An isolated, peaceful, cooperative people developed the kind of culture that humans had, up to that point, given a great deal of lip service but no concrete attention. After having ranked among the most ferocious warriors on Earth for several centuries, the Tibetans decided that peace was more productive than war and compassion better than greed. At the height of their sanity, twenty percent of the Tibetan population was composed of Monks and Nuns—beings whose employment was to perpetuate positive states. Peace, joy, environmental respect, and natural beauty reigned for centuries.
Then other Earthlings invaded and killed the Tibetans for the purpose of stealing their land and natural resources. A few of the more sympathetic Earthlings made some valiant efforts to correct this, but most either ignored the holocaust or whined in graceless impotence.

That was the Council’s report.

Don’t make any long-term plans, folks. We’ll be taking a trip soon. Don’t bother packing. Where we are going, you won’t need what you think you own.
I hope that when the aliens eat our energy they will find us more palatable than we can possibly find ourselves at this point. On the other hand, they may find our energy toxic. If so, it might be a stroke of poetic justice and an ironically appropriate final act for us to poison superior beings—as we have more or less already done in Tibet.


Commercial TV is designed to steer the viewer through a maze of products for sale and consumption, not to offer productive programs. As a result, a lot of the basest emotional bullshit designed to hump your adrenalized attention into peak readiness for commercial messages is presented on PBS’s corporate counterparts. In contrast, a lot of positively oriented, non-violent, spiritually uplifting, dramatic, comedic, nature related, intelligent, artistic, and exciting programming happens on the public’s network.
Ever wonder “why Johnny can’t read,” or add, or subtract, or concentrate, and has attention deficit disorder? Not discounting diet, societal pace and pressures, systemic cultural dishonesty, and a baffling system of mixed messages running rampant throughout the society, it has a lot to do with the single digit attention span Johnny has developed while being habitually hypnotized by watching short spurts of violent cartoons in between even shorter spurts of flashy commercial messages. The rapid turnover of both commercial messages and program segments have patterned Johnny’s mind to stay grounded in singular focus for very, very short time periods.
The violent, shocking, dramatized nature of what Johnny’s mind is absorbing shoots an adrenaline reaction through his system. The subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and a mentally manufactured threat. Damaging stress chemicals are released and the basest survival senses are heightened while watching violent programming. This results in poor Johnny’s brain circuitry being heightened for fight or flight, and more receptive to commercial messages. The products advertised in these commercial messages are not health food. So now, in addition to having his ability to focus for more than a few minutes in a row being dissected by fragmented programming and machine gun intensity commercial messages, Johnny has been sold and is eating sugar laden petroleum products while being hypnotized by his own adrenaline. These induced adrenaline rushes, impending sugar crashes, and the perverse programming that caused them do not exit his psyche after the sale has been made. At this point the marketing culture has built for themselves another nervous, undereducated, and addicted consumer—just the kind of person most advantageous to their goals. They profit. Johnny’s screwed.
This process, along with the carnival of death that the video game industry has become, helps Johnny get all warmed up for pushing bigger buttons a bit later on in life. Killing people who are more physically existent than the ones in his video game won’t be a problem for Johnny when he reaches military age. He only sees images on a screen, not real flesh and blood carnage.
Of course, people have been killing each other since long before modern video games or commercial TV were around, but (with the possible exception of ancient Rome) murder has never been so widely advertised as an impersonal process, recreational sport, source of amusement, economic necessity, and heroic act.
Commercial television with its base motivation of greed, orientation toward mindless violence, and selfish consumption is a pretty good example of how to negatively program a population. It is an even better example of an obvious, easy, and immediate opportunity that humanity has to better itself. All we have to do is change the station.
PBS is a good example of what can go right if the public is in charge of its own destiny instead of being manipulated by a small, warped, perversely motivated minority. PBS programming helps people avoid the sales pitch hypnosis of network TV. We, the viewing public, actually vote for what we want to see through our responses, requests, and contributions to local PBS stations. Your TV would look better on PBS, or with a hammer put through the screen.


EVERYONE PLEASE READ AND SHARE THIS. IT IS IMPORTANT! There are nearly 9,000 in friends/2 FB groups, but very few of you know what is actually trying to happen here. Please read this short explanation of the group’s purpose as described in the following few paragraphs that I wrote while living in an Asian temple just about13 years ago today.
The Cherry on Top of the Fruitcake
Many tourists act a little wilder while on vacation in a foreign country than they do at home. This is even more pronounced here in Thailand where there are so very many opportunities to do the wild-and-crazy. The locals around here are usually very tolerant of tourist behavior, but they talk about you. This is true anywhere. It doesn’t matter whether you are in Thailand, Brooklyn, or at the North Pole. If you are a little different, at least a few of the locals are going to bust your chops—especially if you’re from out of town. Gossip of this type can happen whether you are wild and crazy or not. There may also be some finger pointing and giggling. Most of the finger pointing is just good-natured amazement, especially in a place like rural Southeast Asia where the locals find a zoom lens camera about as miraculous as we would find a working intergalactic starship with transporter beam. Mild shock and innocent confusion about foreign customs, or bafflement with advanced technologies, is harmless. But those are not the topics here. The topics here are staying in your own canoe and letting bad stuff that flies in one ear fly as quickly out the other. These can be support beams for perseverance in the face of adversity, insult, or even danger. In spite of heavy competition from my fellow travelers for the position as cherry on top of the international fruitcake, I have become known in southern Thailand as “THE Crazy Alien.” Most of my fellow non-locals who get any special attention from the locals are simply drunk and bizarre. The natives expect this. But when locals see an American person who is a bit older, they suppose that he is like the Americans they see on TV. So when they look at me, they see something that falls very far away from their frame of reference. Here is a person they cannot explain. He is not at all “normal.” He is living in a Buddhist Temple on a foreign continent without studying Buddhism. He cannot even communicate in or understand the native language, has no money at all, has no way to get home, and is writing a book about a culture and religion that he is slowly learning very little about. When the book is finished, he plans to get back to America–somehow, and with absolutely no business connections and no related experience at all, sell novice writing for lots of money. He will then give all the money away to build combination educational/spiritual resorts that are entertaining destinations for guests. The purpose of these resorts will be to perpetually return profits that will be used to fund an increase in the number of Wisdom Professionals in the world, beginning with the sponsorship of resources for Buddhist Nuns and Monks. The purpose of that is to help alleviate suffering in human beings, and in all other living creatures affected by human beings, to the greatest degree possible. More wisdom equals less damage. His long-term goal is to build enough of these resorts through which he can gain enough profits to make it financially possible to increase the total number of Wisdom Professionals in the world by one percent. Logic dictates that his odds of success may be roughly the same as the odds of one person winning a multi-million dollar lottery jackpot prize twice in the same week. The Head Monk and Teacher, and most respected member of this community, has given all the compassion of Mother Teresa to the foreign lunatic including hospitality and privileges usually afforded only to Monks. The foreigner works on the writing in his isolated cabin with the intensity and introspection of a lone Monk, stopping only now and then to completely fall very far off the other end of life’s pendulum by mysteriously acquiring massive expense-free doses of alcohol, ganja, and lodging at fancy tourist places along the beach. Even the folks living and working in the resort towns, miles away from their village and Temple, are not used to seeing behavior like this—not even from the most certifiably loony and highly medicated tourists. I must seem even more bizarre to those of my neighbors who have rarely been out of this hundred-resident, isolated hamlet and have never seen those tourists. It is very lucky for me that Thai folks respect crazy more than Americans do. Sometimes I wonder exactly what they think of me—but not often. Every moment spent thinking about what other people are thinking about me is a moment I’m not thinking about what I actually need to be thinking about. It would suck to be on my deathbed watching someone else’s life flash before my eyes. A life steered by concern for what other people think of it is a life un-lived. I don’t have the time to worry and wonder if other people think I’m strange. I have books to write and Wisdom Teachers to sponsor. I do have a sense of logic. It is easy to see how what I’m doing might look strange to others. It is easy to understand why some folks might think me a lunatic. Maybe I am one. But if you are reading this, maybe I’m not. SO PLEASE FOLKS, REMEMBER THAT THIS GROUP HAS TO IT THE PURPOSE OF INCREASING WORLD WISDOM, AND THE METHOD OF DONATING PROFITS THAT COME FROM THE MONEY YOU SPEND BUYING BOOKS THAT ARE GUARANTEED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH HOURS OF VERY ENTERTAINING, INSIGHTFUL ENJOYMENT. PLEASE GO TO THE WEBSITE WWW.FEARLESSPUPPY.ORG CHECK OUT MORE INFORMATION ON THE PROJECT AND DIRECT LINKS TO BUY THE BOOKS. THANK YOU!***IF YOU SHARE THIS POST IT WOULD BE VERY HELPFUL***