How To Love A Sociopath And Why It Is So Important To Do So

                       How To Love A Sociopath And Why It Is So Important To Do So

Congratulations! You have opened something that is not about the American presidential campaign!

Some of us may have an extra drink occasionally or smoke more than a sensible amount of weed now and then. Others may fudge a number here or there on our taxes. We’ve all literally and figuratively farted in public at least once in our lives—but few humans are as universally toxic as upper level politicians. By now we know that both candidates are a perverse distortion of democracy. Neither they nor any other bad actor on the political stage will be mentioned again here.

This article is about us real people.

Several folks have asked me the same very interesting question. It is possible that someone has asked you this same question, too! Here’s a short paragraph of backstory.

I have some friends (Democrat and Republican) that are politically conservative. Well, they like to think of themselves as Conservatives. As is true for most Americans I know who describe themselves as serious Conservatives regardless of party affiliation, these friends could more accurately be called Regressives. In mind-bending contrast to the personal kindness and generosity they often show to friends and family, these folks seem to turn a blind eye to the cruelty and consequences of our national actions. They don’t really want to conserve anything so much as they want to regress into ways of life that have, at least in part, been rightfully done away with already. These folks hate (i.e. are scared of) certain religions and races en masse. They love everyone in a uniform regardless of the actions performed by the people wearing those uniforms. They defend police brutality and military aggression as long as these actions are disguised as quasi-holy freedom-and-security crusades. These are the people who believe they don’t need to go through all the uncomfortable work of checking their attitudes or the facts because Fox News has already done that for them. My few conservative/regressive friends also, and in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, seem to have strong ties to the Middle Ages regarding an inherited, habitual belief in a God who is always on their side during any conflict. They have never heard Ann LaMott’s quote “If your God hates the same people you do, you have created God in your image.” (Italics are mine.)

Here is the question that my more progressive friends ask me. “Whether Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, American, Saudi Arabian, Chinese, or otherwise—how can you hang out with sociopathic psychopatriots? What common ground could you possibly have with these people? Their attitudes aren’t much different than the attitudes of witch burners a few centuries ago.”

I have a few answers. Here they are.

The common ground I have with my conservative friends is the same common ground I have with you. We are all human beings. As humans, we are each equally desirous and deserving of happiness. We all want to be and have a right to be free from unnecessary suffering. This unified mind, this unanimous human direction of desiring happiness and bare minimal suffering is where each of us lives. Our realization of and respect for this common ground we share with all living things is humanity’s one and only possibility for attaining global sanity. That is why the Gandhis, Bernies, and Dalai Lamas keep trying to remind us of it. We all forget this basic fact too often. Honoring this common ground means making a serious effort to be as kind to every other person as one is to one’s self. The system also requires that one treat one’s self as a best friend. “Every other person” includes, of course, people of all political inclinations (as well as all races, nationalities, sexes, etcetera).

The few so-called conservative folks I know are so sweet and kind to the individual humans and animals they personally know, that I can love them for that alone. If that type of compassion spread itself around a little more, this would be a much better world. These regressive friends provide many learning experiences and a constant source of amazement for me, but they also show me how similar we all are. The contrast between the callous disregard they have for so many people who are just as human as the few people they regard so deeply is a schism that happens to some degree in each of us. An exaggerated ego attachment and sense of possession regarding things and people we consider “our own” is too often the defining characteristic of what many people call love. It is often mistaken for being love itself! Noticing this reminds me of how much work needs to be done within each of us, as well as the work that needs to be done in national and global arenas. “The only devils in this world live in our hearts, and it is there that all our battles should be fought.” Gandhi

My view of the “we’re all in this together” thing has to take on more depth and an increased, if ironical, sense of conviction after talking for a while with a regressive person. I am forced to realize that many otherwise wonderful or potentially wonderful people were badly programmed, brainwashed, and damaged—shaped since birth by a lot of inherited bullshit. This bullshit ranges from being as relatively harmless as the Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy myths all the way to the fatal notions that a God living in the sky wants us to kill people or that Nature is here to be dominated by humans. Each specific piece of this bullshit has been consistently reinforced throughout many generations, as well as during each individual’s lifetime, by the nearly constant and highly hypnotic volume of general misinformation fed to us by our culture.

People who once seemed “inherently evil” to me now seem to have the injured glow of abused children about them. You don’t throw sick children away. You help them to get as well as they can, as well as they will allow themselves to be. A lot of these regressive folks have never been hungry, homeless, brutalized, or had a bomb dropped on them for no reason. They have no first-hand concept of what those things feel like. But it goes deeper than that. Not only have they no base-station cognizance, much less experience, for the broader type of compassion to emanate from—they don’t want one. I can’t really blame them! No one wants to feel bad. Many people choose to remain willfully ignorant of the suffering of others—even if it means swallowing some bullshit explanation of that suffering in order to whitewash sympathetic pain and guilt from their minds. Many folks would rather see the wool that has been pulled over their eyes than see the less pleasant truth that would appear without it.

Denial of the painful moral inconveniences that are part of human reality has, to a sad and destructive extent, become the prime directive for many of us. To deny existence of our dilemmas may be convenient in the short run, but it kills any chance of finding solutions for those problems in the long run. It is much more comfortable to wear an inexpensive shirt if you block out or stay ignorant of the fact that it was produced by slave labor. It is easier to enjoy your gasoline-abundant road trips if you convince your self (or allow media-made popular consensus to convince you) that dropping bombs on innocent civilians in oil pimping countries is an effort to liberate victims of dictatorship. That blurry amendment to reality is a lot more palatable than facing the fact that many needless murders of innocent civilians help bring your gasoline to you. These types of moral malfunctions might be resolved with a little thought, effort, and compassionate tactical adjustment—but if they are not given appropriate attention, they can grow into cultural cancers that painfully eat a society and crap it into history’s sewer system.

There is also a deluded but very understandable logic to the regressive person’s tendency to deny problems and instead blame the victim. It is, for example, much easier to scapegoat poor people than it is to face the massive and amorphous job of solving poverty. The logic-of-convenience that allows scapegoating has no truth to it. But, much like everything else we choose to delude ourselves with, it makes perfect sense once you’ve bought the lie.

Nonetheless, and in spite of their tendency to replace objective reality with subjective beliefs, there is a human being and possibly a fine one under the seemingly sociopathic veneer of many a Conservative/Regressive. How can a person who thinks in terms of us/them be helped to see The Big We? Can we communicate the realization that both Yankee and Red Sox fans, strangers, friends, and enemies all equally deserve to enjoy happiness and a release from unnecessary suffering? What can we say that will make a person understand that happiness is doubly important because almost no one kills while they are smiling? How do we get folks to drop a little blind believing in exchange for some open-eyed thinking? How can we help our fellow humans to progress past fear, inherited ignorance, and cultural hypnosis? Maybe we can’t. But if we can, kindness and honesty presented in a respectful and non-combative form are the answers. Hatred and fear cannot survive long-term doses of truth and love.

These doses may be most potent during the immediate moment when we are actually being honest and loving with each other, but the more profound and lasting effect of all this truth and kindness requires time to solidify in the hearts and minds of our regressive friends—and it requires patience and consistency on our parts. No one ever actually changes anyone else’s mind for them. Every person is their own therapist, makes their own decisions, and has the last word about the directions their mind and life will take. But we can certainly open new avenues of thought and point to potential doorways for each other.

The presentation of these new ideas and doorways will rarely rate any attention from a listener unless that presentation is done without condescension or defensiveness.

On the other and much less productive side of this coin, any loss of patience or lack of respect for those we are talking with, any angry/frustrated arguing and screaming, only feeds the fire. Ignorance thrives on battlegrounds. Evidence against regressive thought needs to be presented strongly, confidently, and politely with a genuine concern for the person you are speaking with—without any anger, condescension, or scorn toward them. This kinder approach can eventually dissolve any ignorance.

Other valuable tools are also available. There is plenty of evidence we can site from popular sources that will impress our deluded brethren. It would be easy to show them where many respected public figures that they put stock in, from Jesus and Mohammed to Magic Johnson and Kris Kristofferson, have spoken out against bigotry, war, corruption, and the like. The right historical quote can relate strongly to present-day situations and might make a big impact on folks who are clinging to no-longer-relevant or downright delusional attitudes. Humor helps too. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, you better make it funny or they’ll kill you” Oscar Wilde.

Any quote that helps to make sanity’s point and keeps the people we are speaking with comfortably engaged is a quote worth using. “Regardless of the source, any phrase of proven truth that serves a noble purpose should speak its truth and serve its purpose.” OK, I just made that shit up—but in our age of search engines you can find a quote to fit any occasion, if you aren’t too stoned to go look for it.

Gently presenting alternative information to a partially clouded, somewhat fossilized mind may take months, years, or even generations. It can seem just as frustrating as the proverbial process of shoveling shit against the tide—but there is no better choice of action. Trying to explain the intricacies of global warming or the kharmic disadvantages of killing civilians to someone holding onto their materialized literal beliefs can leave us feeling like we might as well try to kick water uphill. Concretized misinterpretations of things that were written long ago as symbolic references can provide a severe test of any one’s patience. It can be mind-warping to attempt to speak sensibly with folks who have a firm belief in a white-skinned God that: is always on their side, loves America more than any other country, created Earth in six 24-hour days, asked penguins to toodle halfway up the globe in order to catch Noah’s boat ride, and through an adulterous affair with a virgin had a boy child named Jesus who liked to ride around on dinosaurs. But speaking sensibly to the folks who are making the least sense desperately needs to be done—and it needs to be done with a smile! It is very important to remember that every revolution is really an evolution. Anything that seems to occur spontaneously has actually been on a very long trail of grind-it-out activity leading up to that event.

I’m driven to drink (admittedly a short trip) while trying to explain things as basic as the fact that killing people for profit is wrong. The world is very painfully facing the obvious truth of that right now, yet there are still so many folks who believe that killing people solves more problems than killing the greed in people.

Changes (outside of self) don’t happen as or when we want them to. You can’t take a cake out of the oven before it is done. Logical realities will only ripen and surface in the regressive mind when they are ready to do so—the same as they do in your mind or mine. That is when the change happens and things can improve. But unless we keep our brains, hearts, compassion, patience, convictions, honesty, internal strength, loving kindness, respect, determination, and structural integrity to the grindstone on a very regular basis, improvements will never follow. The pissed-off dismay took a long time growing strong enough to spread through the American and French psyches in the 1700s before the colonists dumped tea into Boston Harbor or Marie Antoinette had her date with the guillotine. That type of violence is no longer an option—but boldly stating the case for universal decency, as Jefferson and Rousseau did for decades before their revolutions ripened, will never go out of style. Neither will Gandhi’s ideas about non-cooperation with evil.

We are now in a time and situation where triggering off gunshots or oiling up guillotines won’t work. The “fight fire with fire” mentality is actually what we need to eliminate. Its previous results are what we are trying to repair. Fighting fire with fire doesn’t work. It has never worked. It produces bigger fires sparked by more advanced arsonists. Ask any Fireman. You fight fire with water, or smother it by using sand or chemicals. The flame loses its source of oxygen and suffocates out of existence. Sanity and honesty presented with patience and kindness can suck the oxygen out of fear and ignorance, and then repair damage from traumatic experience and misinformation.

I have heard folks defend police who shot a man although both of his weaponless arms were already pinned to the ground. I have heard people defend the needless murder of innocent foreign civilians and the death of our own misled American soldiers. I have heard folks say so very many things to rationalize their own fears, selfishness, and human frailty—that people with a different imaginary friend than they have are damned to hell, that Native Americans/Blackfolks/Tibetans/Jews/Indians/etc. are uncivilized and savage people who needed to be abused for their own good, that hungry and homeless people all deserve their plight, that obscenely irresponsible and blatantly greedy industrialization haven’t brutally damaged our environment, that foods containing more petroleum and toxins than nutrition are good for you, and so much more. It is easy for me to think, as the bumper stickers say, “If Jesus was here, he’d slap the shit out of you” and “Your god must have had a sharp stick up his almighty ass when he created you.” It is very easy to get angry at all the injustice and ignorance that allows so much painful and unnecessary suffering to continue. If I’m sick or have a bad day, the thought can briefly run across my mind that, “If someone would just bury this idiot in the hills, at least there would be one less idiot.” But I very quickly remember that: 1—becoming an asshole myself won’t help.2—truth, intelligence, patience, and real compassion are the only things that will help. 3—right now, the only things that matter are the things that will help.

Using kinder, more helpful, nobler qualities is our only chance to reach the folks who (although they may be quite wonderful to the individuals they know personally) are political and religious sociopaths due to inherited ignorance, hypnotic fears, and the ever-continuing programmed reinforcement of this ignorance and these fears by our culture.

Using kinder, nobler, and more helpful qualities is also my one and only chance of keeping myself in tow! The kindness I need to muster in order to be a decent human, to speak with folks that I strongly disagree with in a calm and respectful way, reminds me that life is about cooperation. It is a joint venture that must attempt to benefit all and hurt none. Ideas like these are valuable tools that keep me from getting frustrated to the point where I may start doing more harm than good. They protect me from becoming an angry jackass and lashing out at others—or myself. I hope I remember to use these tools more often. I hope you do too.

http://www.fearlesspuppy.org       to see more

http://fearlesspuppy.org/m_purchase.htm   to buy books

https://www.crowdrise.com/thefearlesspuppyprojecttosponsorwisdomteachers/fundraiser/fearlesspuppy     to help

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A Video That May Reincarnate You!

A Video That May Reincarnate You!

Great video discussion about… well, a lot of notions that would be very valuable to whoever takes them into account. Below is what the interviewer thought. I thought highly of her too. Catherine is a vivacious, intelligent, woman–lovely in every sense of the word, and she’s damn good at what she does.

If you are looking to be inspired and been wondering if you can make a difference…you have to watch Ten Doug Rose‘s video chat with me! I’m so grateful for his candor and simplicity on what appear to be complicated matters! http://youtu.be/Ocygpv0t7ME

One Lucky Turkey!

13

Gratitude

From the newly released book Reincarnation Through Common Sense. All author profits sponsor wisdom. Please see http://www.fearlesspuppy.org

    

      Most folks are grateful when something unusually pleasant comes along, great pain ends, or somebody does them a favor. People seem to save gratitude for special occasions.

     The people who live at this Temple are grateful nearly all the time for whomever they are with and whatever they are doing at the moment. They remember what a lot of us have forgotten. Even when life seems to suck, there is probably something as well as someone in our life who deserves gratitude. That someone may not have physically done anything for us. They may only have encouraged us, or wished us well. But a good thought is easier to catch than a bad cold, and a good thought can carry a person a very long way. Encouragement and good wishes aren’t the small potatoes they appear to be at times.

     Gratitude has a powerful potential to multiply into a series of good events. I’m grateful for that, but then again I’m grateful for a lot of things. I’m too broke to get into the poorhouse and just a couple of weeks past suicidal, but things are improving rapidly. A very highly respected spiritual leader has invited me into his community—no money down. Professional altruists care for me and a whole village feeds me. I’m doing very well for a dead guy. So when a wild errant thought still tells me that leaving life may be a better idea than staying with it, there is a pleasantly heavy load of gratitude balancing that errant thought.

      I lean on it.

     My debt of gratitude is owed to everyone who has put their generous effort into helping keep my boat afloat and teaching me how to adjust my sails to the wind. This debt will not be repaid by my untimely demise. That would make all their noble efforts wasted. And so, morbid thoughts must be replaced with better ones such as gratitude.

     I guess whatever thoughts replace suicide are an improvement, but gratitude is special. Gratitude itself is so pure and good that it doesn’t care if I use it as a crutch. Gratitude doesn’t care what form it is used in. It’s just grateful to be working.

     I’m grateful that it’s working too.

 

From the newly released book Reincarnation Through Common Sense. All author profits sponsor wisdom. Please see http://www.fearlesspuppy.org

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Blogger’s Book Fair Talent!!! Enjoy these literary friends!

The Blogger’s Book Fair begins today! This brilliant creation of Kayla Curry allows hundreds of writers the opportunity to introduce other writers to the reading public. It is my pleasure here to introduce you to the very erudite and talented Daniel Alexander and Adele Park.

In conjunction with The Book Blogger’s Fair, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the very talented Daniel Alexander. (Adele Park’s work follows.) Enjoy!

Tired of Your Children’s Bad Attitude:

Back Chatting, Fighting, Whining…?

Would you like to:

* gain the respect you deserve?

* reclaim your relationships with your children?

* build a happy, harmonious home, free from fighting?

* give your children the best start to life?

* protect your child?

 

About the Book

Communication and relationship experts say that communication should be a two-way street. For many years however, society adopted the attitude of “children are to be seen, not heard.” This has had a profound effect on our ability to build relationships today, often resulting in children who backchat, fight and whine. Sound familiar…?

To help you better understand your children you need to turn things around and look at life from their point of view. This helps you improve your understanding of their feelings, attitudes and thoughts, so you can give them the best start to life and create the happy, harmonious home you’ve always dreamed of.

Much research and professional input went into writing the latest breakthrough-parenting book Through the Crimson Mirror. Many interviews were conducted including those with psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers, children, parents, reformed drug addicts and alcoholics, people who work with children who have learning challenges such as ADHD and dyslexia, and many more.

Through the Crimson Mirror is unique. It shares all the lessons the author wishes he’d learned while growing up, wrapped in a story. This makes it easy to read and interesting for parents, young adults and book readers.

About the Author

Daniel Alexander was born in Durban, South Africa, in 1983. After a largely uninspired, uncreative and lonely youth, he graduated from college with a diploma in computer science and worked as a programmer. Programming left him un-stimulated, so after many years he left. The next few years turned out to be tempestuous. Traumatic events followed and inspired this book, which fulfills one of his goals and desires.

Life has changed now, and the author studies the mind and gives talks on parenting and related subjects. He has a deep passion for those in need and has formed relationships with wellness and addiction centers, family crisis mediators and other similar organizations. His passion now lies in helping people understand how their beliefs affect their lives and how often those beliefs start when they are young. His mission is to educate parents and make them aware of the impact they have on their children, so we can build a better tomorrow for all children.

What others are saying

“Daniel interviewed many educators, parents and medical professionals to get a balanced insight.” Pat Pughe-Parry of Living ADDventure.

“Whether you’re a parent or not, you’ll enjoy it and start thinking critically about the world around you. That’s something very few authors can achieve, so I have to congratulate Daniel Alexander on that. I give this book 4.5/5 stars.” Internet book reviewer, Carrie Slager. More reviews: http://daniel-alexander-book.blogspot.com/p/reviews.html.Computers have very quickly integrated themselves into our lives. We have to regularly update the software to make sure they run at their best.

Isn’t it time you learned something new about what’s most precious to you: your children?

Through the Crimson Mirror

Half price on Kindle for the Blogger Book Fair: only $2.99 – your children are worth it! Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00904HFTQ

Join me on: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/daniel.alexander.book

Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/danielalex_book

 

Does the traditional discipline model work?

In the current model, when a child is naughty, parents scream and shout, and often give hidings. We find a similar situation in the work place. When an employee makes a mistake, often bosses don’t allow them to apologize or share their side of the story; instead, they reprimand, warn, and then dismiss. Does this change the behavior?

I was watching some of Eddie Murphy’s early comedy. He does this bit where he’s talking about his mom: she would throw a shoe at him at the drop of a dime. She was bad with a shoe. She carried it around like a gun. By the time Eddie was 10 or 11, she was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe. If he messed up, his mother would walk into the room and… BAM! Shoe to the face!

Growing up, it seems Eddie’s house was very strict. Yet, for all those beatings, for all that violence, he made a living standing on stage saying, “F this; suck my that; stick my this up your that…” So did it change the behavior?

Originally, I wrote this article as one of my talks for Toastmasters. (For this who don’t know, Toastmasters is an international organization, with the goal of helping people learn to be better public speakers and leaders.) This article is adapted from one of my talks, which was inspired by a talk from another member the month before. We were rolling on the floor, as he regaled us with tales of his childhood and the various misdemeanors he and his siblings would commit. After each one, they received their scolding and beating. And guess what: they did it again… and again! So did it change the behavior? Who doesn’t have a childhood story similar to that…

The current model teaches children the very violent manor in which our society communicates. Often, people demand instead of asking. Some take, when they don’t get what they want. It teaches children that, “if you hit me, I must hit you harder.”

It is a very oppressive way of disciplining. We oppress children’s ability:

* to make mistakes,

* to grow and learn,

* to allow them to say sorry for things that often, many of us do or have done;

* most importantly, we oppress people’s ability to express themselves.

However, when society oppresses groups of people, eventually those groups rise up, and take back what is theirs. In doing so, much blood, and many tears are shed, countless lives are destroyed, and suffering is felt on an immeasurable scale.

Isn’t this similar to what happens in homes all over the world… A child makes a mistake, which ends up with parents and child screaming at one another:

* the violence burns through fists,

* hatred dissolves into each other’s minds, where it festers like cancer,

* grudges are held,

* resentments are built,

* and as we often are seeing, the family bond is withering away;

* and most importantly, the behavior rarely changes…

This is the result of the current model … and society calls it discipline.

I wrote a book about my experiences growing up called Through the Crimson Mirror. While writing, I interviewed a range of people: from teachers to physiologists, children to speech therapists, and reformed alcoholics. What I found is that alcoholics and others, who have what society perceives as anti-social disorders, act the way they do because of something deeper. Usually, it’s extreme-pain or a feeling of being alone or unloved.

So what do we often do, when we interact with these people? We tell them:

* you aren’t good enough,

* you aren’t worthy,

* you’re a bad person,

* you’re nothing more than an alcoholic…

To fix them, to make them feel less lonely, we cast them out… So what’s really causing them to continue drinking? I’m not saying there wasn’t an initial problem that was the catalyst for their behavior. Nor am I condoning the way they act. However, we validate what they do by perpetuating their ridicule.

Recently in South Africa, Para Olympian superstar Oscar Pistorious, shot and killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. The investigation is still pending, so we don’t know conclusively what happen on that night. Nevertheless, many people have mocked and vilified him. The media have slandered him. People throughout the world hate him now, with a burning passion! He’s pretty much been made a prisoner in his family’s home.

Following that, a few weeks ago, I heard on radio that he was spotted out drinking and partying. Really, people are surprised that now, our fallen hero, who we’ve turned out back on, has sought refuge in drinking to stop the demons in his mind…

So, what is the answer: in my opinion, its communication. Communication leads to understanding, and understanding leads to change. When someone acts out or does something that we perceive as naughty, there is usually a reason why. If no one communicates with them and attempts to dig deeper about why they did what they did, there is little chance for change. There is a reason for everything, and everything for a reason…

For human beings, there is something magical about expressing yourself. I’ll use the example of joining Toastmasters and learning to become a public speaker. Hundreds of thousands of people all over the world spend time writing speeches and preparing. We fight the nerves, the potential for embarrassment, for what? What do we get out of standing in front of a crowd and talking? We have the opportunity to have others listen to us. Behavior changes, when people feel heard.

Oppressive, torturous discipline has proved itself ineffective; let’s rather give people an opportunity to communicate and express themselves…

Furthermore, how we treat people such as Oscar and those with anti-social disorders continues to demonstrate how sometimes, it’s our solutions, which are causing so-called problems.

So, in the same vein, do we have to discipline children because they do naughty things; or do children do things that society perceives as naughty, because as a society, we are willing to psychologically and physically torture them, for making mistakes, experiencing life, and not doing things the way we expect them to…? Through the Crimson Mirror on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00904HFTQ

Beginners Success in Public Speaking on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A4UF06ABeginners Success in Public Speaking in print https://www.createspace.com/4326431(will be available on Amazon in a week)  Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/daniel.alexander.bookTwitter: https://twitter.com/ – !/danielalex_bookBlog: http://daniel-alexander-book.blogspot.com/

   In conjunction with the Book Blogger’s Fair, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the very talented Adele Park. What I’d really like you to hear from this very entertaining author is her new audio book “Yikes,” the story of some very interesting characters and their experience blending marijuana and reality TV. Unfortunately, I can’t figure out how to load an mpg here, and the book is only available as a  (very well-crafted) audio book. Fortunately, there is plenty of contact info for Adele below—as well as some other great information from her. Enjoy!

 

Yikes! Another Quirky Audio Book by Adele Park

About The Author:

Adele Park worked as a TV and radio reporter, news anchor and on-air personality for more than 20 years. In 2008, Park formed Straight to Audio Productions

LLC and opened a recording studio in St. George,

Utah. Park’s first audio book, WHEN RADIO AND

POLYGAMY COLLIDE . . . Jitters-A Quirky Little

Audio Book, received a 2011 Audie Award from the

Audio Publishers Association for Multi-Voiced Performance. Jitters-A Quirky Little Audio Book was also honored with a spot on Jimmy Fallon’s Do Not Read List.

Website | Amazon

Common Tags/Labels:

Adele Park, Yikes, Another Quirky Audiobook, audiobook, CD, best audio books, great audio books,

Genre: Comedy/Satire

Publisher: Straight to Audio Productions

Release Date: September 22, 2013 Amazon | Audible

Book Description:

When marijuana enthusiast Blue McKenna suffers an apocalyptic case of writer’s block, reality TV seems like an easy way out. A conglomerate of kooky contestants invades the polygamist community of

Navel, Utah, to compete in a reality show called Yikes! Participants include Steven Finch, a loveable stoner who develops a conspiracy theory involving a rock band called the Rectal Surgeons, and Randall Smoot, a member of the Gay Mafia.

WHEN MARIJUANA AND REALITY TV COLLIDE . . . Yikes! Another Quirky Audio Book features a cast of 11 actors who portray the characters in funny, engaging narratives. This 10.5 hour MP3 audio book is available for sale at Audible.com and Amazon.com. For more information, please visit http://www.yikesaudiobook.com

Audio Excerpt: Available at our website – http://www.yikesaudiobook.com/Trailer – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPotQyyPsuo&feature=g-upl

E-mail:

QuirkyAudioBooks@yahoo.com

Straight to Audio Productions

315 W. Hilton Drive, Suite 4

St. George, UT 84770

Don’t Surrender the Fate of Your Books to Publishing Executives

Have you unconsciously surrendered the fate of your novel to the whimsical tastes of publishing executives? Do you think your book can’t move forward without the financial blessing of others? Agents and publishers can certainly boost our careers, but I’m not sure they can break them. In all likelihood, our destiny lies in our own hands. It took several years worth of groveling at the heels of those in the publishing industry for me to comprehend this.

Even though you’ve probably spent years visualizing the success of your book, how much time have you devoted to thinking about the specific things you want to achieve? Perhaps you have a vague fantasy involving money and fame. These things are definitely desirable, but chances are there’s more to it than that. The act of creation ignites something within us, even if we can’t put our finger on it. There’s a lot to be said for fully experiencing the moment we are in.

Many of us hold our own dreams hostage by assuming things have to play out in a specific manner. In my case, I wrongly believed the only way to turn my manuscript into an audio book was to first have it published in hard back. Under this scenario, I would have had to sell a barn full of books before anyone would ever consider producing it in audio form.

Once I understood I had control over my own dreams, I formed an LLC called Straight to Audio Productions and produced my first audio book. I recorded and edited an 8.5 hour project using nothing but a mic, a mixer and a laptop. Miraculously, I was able to get my project listed for sale as an mp3 download on Audible.com. After that, I built an actual studio and went to work recording Jitters-A Quirky Little Audio Book. That project went on to win a 2011 Audie from the Audio Publishers Association in the multi-voiced category.

If you are having trouble getting through to the top brass in the publishing industry, try to find the courage to publish your book anyway. E-books and desktop publishing companies make this process inexpensive and easy to do. Don’t miss the chance to live your art just because things aren’t happening exactly the way you had envisioned. Outcomes are over-rated anyway. The biggest thrills come from fully experiencing the projects you’re passionate about. Completing something you’ve been working on for a long time can be anti-climactic, so the trick is to enjoy the process. Whatever you do, try not to get attached to the outcome.

When you run out of ideas, wing it. I’ve met very few people who work in the audio book industry, so in my business I make everything up as I go. Sure, I’ve taken a few wrong turns, but it’s definitely been an interesting journey. This lack of an industry blueprint has left me free to dabble with different ways to tell a story. Unlike most audio books which have one person doing the voices for all the characters, my audio books feature full cast of actors who tell their stories directly to the listener. I’ve also taken the liberty of experimenting with different forms of narration. Since the lead character in Jitters is a radio shock jock, I thought it would be interesting to narrate the story through a series of newscasts. With Yikes! Another Quirky Audio Book, I used a series of narration pieces called “Examine Our Navel.” Like it or not, I probably couldn’t float this idea to any traditionalists in the audio book industry.

It might seem risky, but there are advantages to “going rogue.” For one thing, you don’t have to follow any rules. Don’t be afraid to explore the unknown. Some of the best stuff comes from impromptu moments.

I’m sure we would all love to spend a few days in the Gucci shoes of the publishing industry elite, but let’s not assume this group has it better than we do. Along with the perks comes more pressure. Rather than focusing on what our project lacks, perhaps our energy would best be spent being grateful for what we already have. Besides, there’s no telling where our books will end up – not knowing is half the fun!

Written by: Adele Park

Website: http://www.yikesaudiobook.com

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPotQyyPsuo&feature=g-upl

The Process

This is Chapter 76 from the book Fearless Puppy on American Road. All profits from this book sponsor Wisdom professionals, beginning with but not exclusive to Tibetan Monks, Nuns, and causes. Why am I putting it here? I have recently run into many folks who hurt and stress themselves by forgetting what this chapter says. If you are one of these folks, I hope this helps. The piece was written about hitchhiking, but obviously applies to many, many aspects of a human life. http://www.fearlesspuppy.org

                                      The Process

      There’s a process to hitchhiking—and most of what holds true for the hitchhiking process holds true for the rest of life as well.

      First, you’ve got to decide that you want to get somewhere other than where you are. Then you have to raise the determination to actually leave your present location. All trips start with a determination that’s serious enough to get you off your butt and moving. You may have a specific destination in mind. It could just be a direction that you want to head in. Either way, you’ll always have to conquer stagnation and lethargy, and sometimes have to risk stability to get there.

      After that, you have to pack what you’ll need. It’s always best to reach a balance in packing. Certain things are essential, such as flashlight, towel, toothbrush/toothpaste, lightweight emergency food, and water. But then again, you may be walking a lot in rough weather from a place you get stuck in. The difference between a thirty pound pack and an eighty pound pack could end up being the difference between comfort or exhaustion/heat stroke/frostbite and even death. But so could a half-pound sweater that you thought unnecessary and left behind. Pack wisely.

      You’ll also want a map. Other folks have been to the places you want to get to and have traveled in the directions you want to go. Maps exist for nearly every piece of road in the world. They all use universal symbols. It doesn’t matter where you’re from or what language you speak. Everyone knows that a bigger dot means a bigger city and that a thicker line connotes a major highway. You can travel uninformed in unfamiliar territory if you like. You can even make your own trail or road through wilderness. Folks used to do it all the time in the olden days. Folks used to suffer greater hardships and die younger back then too. Luckily, many of those people made maps of the roads they built or discovered. Reading them can save us modern folk a lot of time, energy, and disaster. It can help you to live longer and more comfortably than people did in the olden days.

    It is best to start a long hitchhiking trip from the on-ramp of a major highway. Don’t stand right out on the highway itself. There are good reasons why this is illegal. It is dangerous for the highway traffic as well as the hitchhiker. The chance of getting crushed into eternity by a seventy mile

per hour vehicle paying strict attention to its own process is a lot greater on the highway itself than on the entrance ramp. A car entering a ramp at twenty-five miles per hour is going to be immediately aware that you are safely on the shoulder looking for a ride. It will have a much greater ability to pull over without killing you, its own passengers, or those in other vehicles than a seventy mile per hour highway car would.

     Get to the highway or main road as quickly and easily as possible. Standing on a barely traveled road in a rural area where the drivers are unfamiliar with you can last long enough for you to become vulture food. Hitching on a main city street is usually unproductive and can be dangerous as well. The highway or main road is probably close enough to where you wake up so that you can get a ride from a friend, take a local bus, or even walk to it.

     Once you are wisely packed and on an entrance ramp, you’re going to need patience. You can put yourself on a main road, be properly packed and intelligently discriminating about which cars you get into. That’s brilliant. It does not change the fact that sometimes you’ll get passed by hundreds of cars and have to wait several hours before someone stops for you. It won’t change the fact that a driver who initially seems like fun may turn into a downer (or worse) after a half hour’s acquaintance.

      Most of the time good luck will favor you. It’s usually a good person that will pull over to help a stranger, in the first place. You still have to be vigilant, discriminating, and patient—full time. That way you’re prepared for anything.

Prepared does not mean paranoid or even afraid. It means aware. Have fun. Travel should be a joyful process. If you think every car that pulls over for you will have an axe-murderer driving it, you should take the bus. (Unfortunately, your odds of meeting that axe-murderer may not drop much on the bus.)

       If you live through many years of hitchhiking, you’ll eventually get what is called “a feel for the road.” You’ll have a better instinct for the best times to be on which roads, what equipment to carry, whose car to not get into, and so on. Rides will seem to come more easily. This is still no time to let your positive attitude, awareness, or vigilance fall asleep.

       Novice or adept, neither the road, its vehicles, nor its human participants owe you anything—nor are any of these under your direct control. Neither driver nor divine force owes you a ride. Be pleasant and grateful to the person that finally stops for you. It is not your benevolent host’s fault if you’ve been standing in freezing rain for two hours.

       At its best, hitchhiking is a joint venture where you and your hosts can benefit each other. In such instances, taking the ride can be a joy. If you’re not grateful, if you are arrogant, or if you’re not aware of each situation you get into—it can certainly be otherwise.

        I hope it is obvious to you that this process can apply to any number of life’s procedures besides hitchhiking.

      Pick a place you want to get to. Prepare wisely. Read a map. Hit the road with your eyes open. http://www.fearlesspuppy.orgImage